finally starting to feel alot better after that whole ordeal. i shouldn't hate myself over it, when i found out everything, i did the right thing, and i should be proud of that. though i'll still have my triggers, i'm still healing relatively well. it was never my fault he manipulated me, it was never my fault i believed him. and though it was a lot, i'm still a good person, and plus, it was a cannon event lol.